Emma was scheduled to arrive on April 30th and I had decided to take the four weeks off prior to rest up in the last month of my pregnancy. I had plenty of things to do before the baby came. I wanted to make a few more things such as booties, bibs, stuffed animals and mobiles, etc. I needed to find a pediatrician, do some remodeling at home, and so on. The list went on.
3:30am that morning, I waddle to the bathroom to pee in my hazy state. After I've taken care of business, I get off the seat only to have warm, slightly sticky fluid dribble down my leg. Not enough for me to think my water broke but enough to wonder what the heck it was. I cleaned up and went back to bed only to have these bad cramps that deterred me from sleeping. It kept me up for two hours before it completely disappeared. That was my last "full" night of sleep...
My last day at work was not productive. I had inconsistent cramps and was laying in bed while researching Braxton-hicks contractions and what the likely hood of early labor new moms faced. After a whole days of research, I called my midwife and asked what she thought. "Let's check the fluid just to be sure it's nothing. I'll meet you at the hospital. Please be there by 6pm"
At 6pm, G and I waited for the fluid test results while discussing our dinner plans when voila, the dinner tray appeared. Silly me, I assumed that they were being nice bringing me food since we had to wait an hour for the results but Mr. G knew better. We weren't leaving and we were going to have Emma that night. I was far from ready and she was a month early - considered a preemie. I cried a bit, called my brother to bring over our bags and had a friend install the car seat and after the nurses reassured me that Emma was going to be fine, G and I started betting on the time Emma was going to join us. I was already 4cm dilated. Sweet, only 6 more to go!
9pm. To get my contractions going, they broke my water at 9pm and the clock started. 3 hours went by, and nothing. I power walked 10 laps up and down the hall, and nothing. 3am and nurses decided to give me Pitocin. I had done my research and knew that Pitocin usually caused women to give into getting the epidural. I was unhappy with the drug but I didn't have much of a choice. I was determined to have Emma without the epidural. The nurses came in the room every once in a while to check up on me and each time they came in, they had just missed me going through a contraction. And since I looked comfortable when they checked on me, they continued to up the dosage.
After multiple cat naps - with J and L sleeping on the pull out chair and G sleeping on the floor on a mat (EW) morning rolled around and still NOTHING. A stopped by with coffee and pastries and mom came by as well. 9am check and they find that I had another bag of water. WHAH? After they broke that water, the pitocin hit me like a ton of bricks.
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| G. on the floor of the hospital room. |
April 1st 2014. Its too difficult to fully explain what happened in the next three hours. I know I cried. A LOT. I must have worn out G from holding onto his arm. I prayed to God. I got mad at people over stupid things. I cried some more. I remember thinking that I'm never going to have a second kid so I'd have to adopt. I wanted someone strong to massage my back. J, L and A did a lot but my contractions were so painful that I couldn't feel anything but that. I remember someone putting cold towels on my head - which I liked. I know L and J were giving me such great words of encouragement. Its been 5 months and I can't really remember the pain. How great God is - allowing us to forget so we can have more kids. haha. Two hours went by and in the third hour I had to push - I felt like I was using all of my energy to do nothing. I couldn't tell if there was any progress. I do remember that I pooped. (Yes I said it - it happens to almost every woman pushing out a baby.) At that point, I think I was completely naked anyways. Nothing like a human coming out of your hooha to make all your dignity disappear. Plus, I was completely out of it and pushing with my head and ruptured all the blood vessels in my head - my eyes were bloodshot and my whole face swollen. I was NOT a pretty sight. Finally at 12:06pm, our Emma bear joined our family of two! She was 6lbs 3oz, 19 inches and just the cutest baby ever! G got to cut the cord and help catch Emma. There was a lot of smiles, crying, encouragement and just JOY. Its unbelievable how your whole life changes in that instant. I forgot how hard labor was. I forgot that I was naked. I forgot that I couldn't open my eyes from it being so swollen. I forgot that all these people saw me at my most vulnerable. I forgot that I was exhausted and drained. All I could think about is that Emma was here. I was a momma to this beautiful girl. She was this tiny little thing on my chest and I couldn't believe that she was here. I look back and I hope I got to enjoy every moment of it. And remember I said I was going to have to adopt? Just a few hours later in our room, I told G that I would go through everything again to have Emma - that she was worth it all.
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| Dearest Emma Lee |
